My Little Brother
I’ve decided to start a new series. Every Sunday, I’ll be writing a little biography on someone close to me, be it a family member, a close friend, or someone I don’t really know but would like to share my deep perspective on them with you. Today is week one of this feature and the proud winner of this honor is none other than my little brother, Jacob Christian.
Jacob is 18 months younger than me and five years younger than our older brother, David. Cute, right? My parents gave Dave three years of solo attention and I get 18 months to bask in the glory of being the sweet, new little baby before Jake came along and stole the limelight. Anyways, for the first few months of his life, he was a pretty normal little baby. Even could be considered well behaved. But then he started crying. He didn’t really stop until he was twelve.
Jake also had some weird little habits. He could never decide if he wanted our mom to put the toothpaste on the brush for him or if he wanted to do it himself. If mom did the wrong one, his whole day was ruined. After all, if you can’t brush your teeth how you want, what’s the point of even getting out of bed? After he brushed his teeth, every morning for what, five years? he had what David lovingly referred to as the Daily Dump. We lived in a little house and with only one main bathroom, it was a race to get to the toilet to do everything you needed to do before Jake toddled on his chubby little legs into the bathroom.
And Jake was a chubby little kid. And strong, too. When he was twelve months old, he did a pull up in the line at a Burger King. The other patrons were amazed. That’s actually the last time Jake attempted to work out.
David and Jake were the kind of brothers that rough housed. A lot. Which was fine, until a little game that Dave invented ended up snapping Jake’s thigh bone. So, at the little age of 5, the poor little kid was put in a full leg cast decorated with Ninja Turtle faces. The doctor said Jake couldn’t put any weight on it and so he forced the little cripple to use a wheelchair. For six weeks.
Jake was a high energy kid and being stuck in a wheelchair all day long made him pretty cranky. Plus, it was a long day for him: Mom arranged for the handicapped bus to take him to and from school, but it had to pick up all the other handicapped kids too, so he typically rode the bus for 45 or more minutes. All of that restlessness bottled up and so when a Playground attendant eventually gave Jake a little sass, Jake went ahead and bit her. As punishment, they had him moved up to the next grade.
I know, right? Really harsh. Jake bites an adult, he gets rewarded. I am an adorable, sweet baby for 9 months, and my parents decide to take away my glory and give me another brother. The agony.
Jake eventually grew out of his temper tantrum phase. But not until he was in middle school. He doesn’t bite anymore. He’s actually okay. I guess. For an attention stealing little brother, anyways.